I Somehow Hate… A lot of things… and probably you. Yes, I hate you too.

Twitter Narcissism — It’s real and it’s a pandemic!

Google defines "Pandemic" as an epidemic that is geographically widespread; occurring throughout a region or even throughout the world; and for those of you who don't know what epidemic means, start reading the dictionary and don't stop until you vaguely remember what your own name is.

Back to Pandemic, now the reason I am using this word is because this next rant is about something that is bigger than facebook groups, bigger than events and that is the typical narcisstic asshole that resides in our already dysfunctional society. However, this particular asshole (or assholette) has a new way of spreading love for themselves, and that's via Twitter!

Now, first of all I'd like to point out that I am no one to talk. I use Twitter a lot, Hell it's linked to my Facebook Account and whenever I post on this Blog it updates my Twitter account as well but what separates me from the narcissistic majority of Twitter users is that my posts don't involve tedious little things like a few I have come across on a daily basis. Hell, I started an App on Facebook for Twitterers and Twitterettes so I know what it's like and they just flock to it like it's the fountain of stupidity and they just keep on drinking and I am more than happy to let them, at 1000 visitors a piece I make a pretty penny and I get a fair amount of pretty pennies! So it serves me at the end of the day for financial reasons, not the kind of reasons that involve getting too many hugs from my parents (or not enough of them at all).

It is true, most of these people 'tweet' about the most pointless of shit I have ever unintentionally laid my eyes on! If I could send them an invoice for the time I have wasted I would, but frankly Twitter doesn't let me send them a direct message or a reply because a lot of narcissistic fucks complained when someone would back talk to them. Now, Twitter has made it so that if you happen to follow the person (because you thought they had interesting shit to say, not stuff about what colours their shoes are daily) and they don't follow you, you cannot say "Hey moron, I don't give a damn!". All you can do is stamp your feet, keep the message as a reminder and when someone unintentionally reminds you about it, rant your bloody guts out (which is what I am doing because, I just found out via Twitter that someone just ate KFC!)

There's one chick I know who posts every forty-five minutes without fail. Hell, I am sure she has posted about what she is doing right this second! I give her some credit though because If she was to post, I don't know something interesting like "My Girlfriends and I are having a pillowfight in our lingerie and going to Livestream it soon" I would totally dig that and retweet it to all my male friends because my god, I gotta know that! not "I am Tweeting to much" -- Jumping Grandma on a Stick! Really!? I didn't know! Thank you for tweeting it after your twelfth consecutive appearance on my Feed! Can you let someone else Tweet now or are you good for another fifteen more?

All in all, I believe Twitter has a purpose to play. It's why I use it and why I endorse it too all my mates (mates who I trust not to be glued to it posting needless shit). Hell, I used Twitter during an armed robbery at McDonalds and I believe it assisted in someway to alert the community; The cops found them and although a username wasn't mentioned, apparently someone saw a Tweet and they remained on the look-out and saw someone fleeing the area. That airline crash in the Hudson River over at New York, America -- The news of that came first from a passenger who used his Phone to post a Picture on TwitPic/Twitter!; Now that meets my criteria of Interesting!

So those narcissistic bastards out there, I want to know. What the fuck motivates you to tell me what you are doing every fifteen minutes? Seriously? I don't think anyone on/in/beyond the fucking planet cares that you are watching the Price is Right or Deal or No Deal. Get the fuck off your laptop and/or mobile phone and make a phone call if you want to tell someone what you are doing, this way, only one unlucky fucker has to listen to your bullshit. God forbid you have conference call because then you might just kill two people's afternoons in one swoop! Sweet Mary, Mother of Christ!

So please use Twitter for what it was designed for and that is the sharing of interesting information in quick 140 character messages. Keep Twitter on Stand-by the next time your flying in an Airplane or in a McDonalds Restaurant, you might just be the first to break the news of the event to the public. Watch your sheep-- I mean, followers grow then!

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